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Have you ever had a plate full of food that you anticipated being wonderfully delicious but it was ruined by one ingredient? The mention of a prenuptial agreement can do the same thing to your anticipated wedding bliss if it's handled the wrong way. Your desire to have a prenup doesn't have to ruin your relationship. If you approach it the right way, the idea of prenuptial agreement can be quite palatable.
For many, the idea of writing a prenuptial agreement is like saying "I don't believe in our relationship." That's not generally the idea behind the desire to get one. Divorce statistics, however, are a motivating factor. A prenup is a way to go into a serious commitment with a safety net. Try these four things to keep a generally unsavory topic from ruining your relationship.
1 - Timing is Everything
If you approach the idea of having a prenuptial agreement too early in your relationship, you may be perceived as a selfish jerk--not really the way to encourage feelings of love and commitment. If you wait until too close to the wedding date you overshadow the anticipation of getting married with the weight of prenuptial issues. You also risk the hurt and embarrassment of having the wedding called off.
The best time to discuss the idea of a prenup is shortly after the engagement occurs. This is a time when you will start discussing several serious issues, making it a good time to bring up the subject.
2 - The Right Approach
To avoid looking like that selfish jerk mentioned above, make sure you approach the subject of a prenuptial agreement with an open mind and desire to be fair. Before you even say a word, try putting yourself in your fiance's shoes. Imagine how they might respond and why. Commit to the idea that you will listen and stay calm.
When you feel ready, there are several phrases you can use that open the door to discussion. Here are a few:
It's important to have educated yourself about prenuptial agreements so that after you've made it past the hump of introducing the subject you can have a thoughtful conversation. This can be a touchy subject. Stay calm and remember you're in love.
3 - The Best Venue
Do not ruin a romantic moment with your beloved by bringing up the idea of a prenuptial agreement. This will not get things started in a favorable way. An intimate place like the bedroom or a public place like a restaurant is definitely out of the question. Make sure you are alone and have plenty of time for a good discussion. Sit somewhere that allows you to face your fiancé, like the dining room table or the living room sofa.
4 - Total Togetherness
You will have the best success if you go into the process of creating a prenuptial agreement without any preconceived ideas. Beyond knowing that you would like to have a prenup, leave the slate blank and work on it as a couple.
Consider getting a mediator when you are ready to write up the agreement. Because they are not emotionally involved, they can help you both see things more clearly. For more information, you can also contact a family lawyer or visit http://www.paulmoorelaw.com.
Share18 June 2015
